Relapse is a process, not an event!

I spoke Tuesday at The Team Challenge about PAWS Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. It was a powerful subject as we recognized that permanent change takes time...more time than it takes to lose weight. The emotional and psychological work of recovery of any destructive behavior takes time. I challenged our clients to do the very important work of self-care and rewards to change the way they think about their relationship with food and also to prevent relapse in the future.

Relapse...a scary word in all of recovery.

Relapse is a process, it's not an event. In order to understand relapse prevention you have to understand the stages of relapse. Relapse starts weeks or even months before the event of physical relapse. There are three stages of relapse.

1. Emotional relapse
2. Mental relapse
3. Physical relapse

Emotional Relapse

In emotional relapse, you're not thinking about overeating. But your emotions and behaviors are setting you up for a possible relapse in the future.

The signs of emotional relapse are:

* Anxiety
* Intolerance
* Anger
* Defensiveness
* Mood swings
* Isolation
* Not asking for help
* Poor sleep habits

The signs of emotional relapse are also the symptoms of post-acute withdrawal. If you understand post-acute withdrawal it's easier to avoid relapse, because the early stage of relapse is easiest to pull back from. In the later stages the pull of relapse gets stronger and the sequence of events moves faster.

Relapse prevention at this stage means recognizing that you're in emotional relapse and changing your behavior. Recognize that you're isolating and remind yourself to ask for help. Recognize that you're anxious and practice relaxation techniques. Recognize that your sleep and eating habits are slipping and practice self-care.

If you don't change your behavior at this stage and you live too long in the stage of emotional relapse you'll become exhausted, and when you're exhausted you will want to escape, which will move you into mental relapse.

Practice self-care. The most important thing you can do to prevent relapse at this stage is take better care of yourself. Think about why you overeat. You use food or alcohol to escape, relax, or reward yourself. Therefore you relapse when you don't take care of yourself and create situations that are mentally and emotionally draining that make you want to escape.

For example, if you don't take care of yourself and eat poorly or have poor sleep habits, you'll feel exhausted and want to escape. If you don't let go of your resentments and fears through some form of relaxation, they will build to the point where you'll feel uncomfortable in your own skin. If you don't ask for help, you'll feel isolated. But if you practice self-care, you can avoid those feelings from growing and avoid relapse.

Mental Relapse

In mental relapse there's a war going on in your mind. Part of you wants to overeat and go back to old habits, but part of you doesn't. In the early phase of mental relapse you're just idly thinking about it. But in the later phase you're definitely thinking about using...your drug of choice.

The signs of mental relapse are:

* Thinking about people, places, and things you "used" with
* Glamorizing your past life style
* Fantasizing about using
* Thinking about relapsing
* Planning your relapse around other people's schedules

It gets harder to make the right choices as the pull of addiction gets stronger.

It's important to use tools at this time to stop the mental relapse. Play the tape through. When you think about overeating, the fantasy is that you'll be able to control your self and get back on track this time. You'll just eat poorly one day, one week. But play the tape through. One bad day usually leads to another. You'll wake up the next day feeling disappointed in yourself. You may not be able to stop the next day, and you'll get caught in the same vicious cycle. When you play that tape through to its logical conclusion, over eating doesn't seem so appealing. Remind yourself of the negative consequences you've already suffered, and the potential consequences that lie around the corner if you relapse again.

Call a friend, a support, or someone on the same journey. Share with them what you're going through. The magic of sharing is that the minute you start to talk about what you're thinking and feeling, your urges begin to disappear. They don't seem quite as big and you don't feel as alone.

Distract yourself. When you think about eating, do something to occupy yourself. Call a friend. Get up and go for a walk. If you just sit there with your urge and don't do anything, you're giving your mental relapse room to grow.

Wait for 30 minutes. Most urges usually last for less than 15 to 30 minutes. When you're in an urge, it feels like an eternity. But if you can keep yourself busy and do the things you're supposed to do, it'll quickly be gone.

Do your recovery one day at a time. Don't think about whether you can stay "on program" forever. That's a paralyzing thought. It's overwhelming even for people who've been healthy and at goal weight for a long time.

One day at a time, means you should match your goals to your emotional strength. When you feel strong and you're motivated to eat healthy, then tell yourself that you won't eat poorly for the next week or the next month. But when you're struggling and having lots of urges, tell yourself that you'll eat well today or for the next 30 minutes. Do your recovery in bite-sized chunks and don't sabotage yourself by thinking too far ahead.

Make relaxation part of your recovery. Relaxation is an important part of relapse prevention, because when you're tense you tend to do what’s familiar and wrong, instead of what's new and right. When you're tense you tend to repeat the same mistakes you made before. When you're relaxed you are more open to change.

Physical Relapse

Once you start thinking about relapse, if you don't use some of the techniques mentioned above, it doesn't take long to go from there to physical relapse.

It's hard to stop the process of relapse at that point. That's not where you should focus your efforts in recovery. That's achieving abstinence through brute force. But it is not recovery. If you recognize the early warning signs of relapse, and understand the symptoms of post-acute withdrawal, you'll be able to catch yourself before it's too late.

Beliefs=Thoughts=Feelings=Actions...it always come down to this! Work the program and you will keep your weight off for life!

Always encouraging you,
Letha

What Makes A Champion?

I've always loved reading about, watching, investigating ordinary people who do EXTRAORDINARY things. What makes someone become a champion? What do they have that others don't. Here's what I've discovered!

Champions don’t become champions when they win the event, but in the hours, weeks, and months they spend preparing for it.



Champions are positive thinkers; they believe in themselves.
Champions share in a belief that they will succeed. Champions always look for the good in every situation. No matter what obstacles they encounter, they always continue to think positive. Without confidence, faith in your abilities, and positive mental attitude, you’ve defeated yourself before you ever step out to succeed. You can choose the mind of a champion today!

Champions visualize their successes.
Champions understand the importance of positive mental imagery or visualization. We believe that at The Healthy Weigh. We believe that the mind is a powerful tool in your success. To be a champion, you must practice seeing yourself at goal weight. Practicing and becoming good at visualization is a must in the life of a champion.

Champions surround themselves with positive people and avoid negative influences.
Champions keep themselves in a "positive shell" and do not associate with negative people, places, or things. Choose who you spend time with…limit your time with negative influences…spread out your time with positive people that help you live out your best life! Invest in establishments, books, tapes, friends…who bring champion like thinking in to your world!

Champions are goal setters.
Champions realize that if they don’t know where they’re going, that is exactly where they’ll end up; nowhere! Champions consistently set long and short-term goals. From day to day goals to long term career objectives, champion’s have written out specific, measurable goals with a deadline. They understand the importance of the reward system to change behavior permanently…set goals, reward self, set goals, reward self…over and over…that’s what champions do. That’s what you can do starting today!

Champions have a burning desire to succeed.
Champions not only have goals, but they ardently desire them. Robert Collier, summed up the idea of desire beautifully in his 1926 self-help classic Secret of the Ages. He said, "Very few people know how to desire with sufficient intensity. They do not know what it is to feel and manifest that intense, eager, longing, craving, insistent, demanding, ravenous desire which is akin to the persistent, insistent, ardent, overwhelming desire of the drowning man for a breath of air, or a desert-lost man for a drink of water, or the famished man for bread and meat." Champions have burning desire. They want it and they want it badly. How bad so you want the body you deserve? Do you want it as bad as your next breath? If you do…you’re a champion!

Champions are disciplined and consistent.
Champions live and breathe their new lifestyle all year round. They are committed and disciplined in training and dietary practices. They know that when you’re changing your life permanently there is no off-season and success does not come overnight.
One day at a time…making the healthy choice no matter what yesterday looked like.

Champions are persistent.
Champions never, ever quit. Thomas Edison was the epitome of persistence: He conducted 10,000 experiments before finally finding a filament that would burn in the electric light bulb. Champions know that if they persist long enough, eventually they must succeed.

Champions learn from their failures.
Champions don't view losses as failures, they see them as learning experiences. When asked how it felt to fail 10,000 times, Thomas Edison replied, "I didn’t fail, I learned 9,999 ways that wouldn’t work." Champions know that they haven’t failed until they quit; but once they quit, then they have failed. A champion finds a lesson in every apparent loss and finds ways to grow from it.


Champions have incredible powers of focus and concentration.
Champions set goals and then maintain a laser-like focus on them. They have the ability to always keep the long term objective in their sights while focusing 100% on what they are doing at the moment. If you watch a champion train you will notice that they are completely oblivious to their surroundings. 100% of their focus and concentration is on what they are doing. They almost appear to have slipped into a hypnosis-like trance. This peak physiological and psychological state has often been referred to as being in "the zone" or being in "flow." Champions can access this state instantly at will. When it comes time to train they turn everything else off and zero in on what they are doing. What does it look like to be in the zone on your healthy eating plan…I know, I’ve been in the zone. It almost feel like you’re Teflon…nothing can get to you, because you’ve decided!

Champions have a deep love and boundless enthusiasm for the sport, the program….what ever it may be.
To a loser, training and dieting is work and drudgery. To a champion, training and dieting are a love, a joy, and a passion. Champions are enthusiastic about what they do; they can’t wait to train each day. Motivational speaker Tom Hopkins once said, "Work is anything you’re doing when you’d rather be doing something else." Champions are doing what they love, so to them it’s not work at all, its fun!

Champions strive for constant and never ending improvement.
Champions are never satisfied with the status quo; they never rest on their laurels. Champions aim for small improvements every day in every way. Champions are open-minded and are always looking for a better way to do things. Although champions are always striving for more, they also realize that success is a journey, so they enjoy each moment and savor every step along the way.

Champions are hard workers; they are willing to go the extra mile.
Positive thinking, goal setting, visualization, desire, persistence, and enthusiasm are vital, but without action and hard work, these traits are all worthless. Edison said, "Success is 98% perspiration and 2% inspiration." Champions are hard workers. Champions take consistent action and they are willing to do the things that the losers are not.


Our Champions at The Healthy Weigh face many obstacles during their weight loss programs. Parties, graduations, taking children to college, tragic deaths, family reunions, weddings, vacations, daily temptations both at work and home…all the things, that we all face.
What sets our champions apart…is that even in the midst of all those events and seemly “out of control” times…they truly knew that they DID have control over what they ate, how they responded and what they chose to do!

Champions aren’t born, they are made. They are made by the choices they make every day. By the way they choose to think when they’ve gotten off track and need to get back on, by the way they continue going when they going gets real tough.

Are you a champion? What choices can you make even this weekend to call yourself one? Here's to a weekend of extraordinary choices!

Always encouraging you,
Letha

Contentment = Permanent Weight Loss

I love to help people lose weight, I also love to help them stabilize and then maintain weight loss for life. Although I have gained tremendous knowledge about food, calories and nutrition over the past 30 years working in the weight loss industry, you'll rarely find me talking about those things in this blog. The amount of information available to the public about dieting is overwhelming and plentiful. If you have a question about food, calories and protein...you can get that question answered 100 different ways.

My experience has taught me this...it's a lot more about what's eating you...than what you're eating! As I work with clients every week, I'm continually reminded of that.

This week I visited with clients who seem to be "bored with the food" on the Healthy Weigh weight loss diet, but with further examination discovered that discontentment was at the root of "needing" more or different food.

Being content isn't easy. If you've studied contentment at all you find it gets harder before it gets better. Contentment is being satisfied with what you have and where you are; a feeling of calm satisfaction. The problem with contentment is that we look for the circumstances to change, when being content is really learning to be satisfied with things just like they are.

The rub comes when we feel those feelings of discontent and we don't know what to do with them. Food so often becomes the drug of choice to numb, avoid, or escape that uncomfortable feeling of discontentment.

The answer is ALWAYS to identify those feelings and then process them. That might look like journaling, talking to a friend or choosing gratitude for what you have and where you are right now.

Choose contentment this weekend. Challenge yourself to process feelings of discontent and be grateful. See if finding contentment in your present circumstances doesn't just make following your diet a little easier.


Always encouraging you.
Letha

Selfish or Self Care?

I'm a wife and I'm a mom, I'm a sister, aunt,daughter and friend. All of these roles in my life take time, energy, and sacrifice. I've worked hard over the years making sure that the people that I love the most get the best of me...they get the best of me, because I work to be the best me.

I'm convinced that taking care of myself is the very best thing I can do for all of my loved ones. My husband has a wife that feels confident and beautiful. My son has a mom that he looks up to and respects. My sisters and brothers look to me for inspiration and my nieces and nephews see me as a role model. My Mom just loves me.

I meet with men and women every week who do a lot of sacrificing, but they do it to their detriment. They give out all they've got without taking care of themselves first. They love, they serve, they give, all while they aren't in touch with their very best self!

I once heard a great analogy for this issue. When you go on an airplane and the flight attendant is explaining the oxygen mask that will fall down in an emergency...she says, "If you're with a child, remember to put your mask on first, and then help the child." That's the way we should see it every day. We need to be taking care of ourselves first so that we might be able to help and love those around us.

I've always felt like I owed it to my husband and to my son to be my very best; physically, emotionally and spiritually. I think it would be selfish of me to live any other way. Sometimes I see men and women that have that thinking backwards...they think if they take care of themselves first, that somehow, that is selfish.

Selfish to me is being unhappy, dissatisfied, and angry with my self. Selfish to me is spending time worrying about how I haven't taken care of my self, how bad I look and how frustrated I am with my self!

Self care is truly the selfless thing to do. When we are at our best, we are able to pour out, love on, and be free, around the very most important people in our lives.

I hope you will reflect on your self care this weekend and know that the greatest thing you can do for those people in your life, is become the very best you!

Always encouraging you.
Letha

Restaurant Eating...Aint No Big Thing!

One of the obstacles when trying to lose weight seems to be eating out. I say seems to be, because restaurant eating...aint no big thing. We've worked it up to be more difficult than it is. In some ways, eating out can be easier while you are "dieting" than eating at home.

I could tell you all the new ways to find out what you’re eating when you go out to a restaurant. You'll find information about calories,fat grams and carbohydrates, on the internet or even the brand new text message service. I’m sure there is an app for that. BUT it’s easier than that! We make this harder that it should be and then we’re not getting the results we’re looking for.(weight loss)

We’re going on line to look up restaurants menus and nutritional information, then we’re focusing on calories and fat grams and we’re not staying on our nutritional program. We’re being provided nutritional information at some restaurants and saying things like "Wow the 6 inch sub only has 6 grams of fat…that sounds good." We’re making healthier choices than before, but not losing weight.

There’s a difference between being on a weight loss program and being on maintenance eating a healthy diet. The tools offered on the internet, etc are great, but while you’re on the weight loss program, I want to help you go out to eat and stay 100% on your weight loss plan!

I went restaurant hopping and gathered up menus. I wanted to be able to show you, hey, this eating out in restaurants aint no big thing. So here’s what I found, VERY FEW MENUS HAVE PROGRAM FOOD ON THEM! But repeat after me…”The food you need, is in the kitchen!” The restaurants kitchen, that is! It really is. I have picked up MANY menus and looked over them, from our favorite fast food restaurants to the finest dining around. The same thing was true,nothing on the menu, but the food we need is in their kitchen!

So here’s the trick. Confidence! Belief in your ability to order and the knowledge that every restaurant wants to serve you…with love. They need you and will serve you what you need. You just have to be in charge of you and what goes in your mouth!

Let me give you some examples;

Olive Garden…this isn’t on the menu, but this is what I order.
Garden fresh salad, no dressing, with a piece of grilled chicken breast on the top. No bread sticks please. Ice tea with lemon.

Red lobster…"The food I need is in the kitchen."
I will have the broiled sole no butter
Extra vegetables, no rice
Dinner salad~ hold the croutons please and don’t bring the cheese rolls.

Azteca
Chicken sandwich…hold the bun, hold the fries, side salad please, with fat free dressing.

Great Taste Chinese Restaurant
Steamed shrimp with steamed broccoli
Steamed vegetable deluxe
White rice

Subway (don't listen to Jared)
Make any 6 inch sub into a salad, order double meat

Red Robin
Red rice bowl
Hold the rice, hold the crunchy noodles, just bring vegetable and chicken OR
Chicken burger hold the bun, extra fruit or side salad instead of the fries

Burgerville
Side salad
Rosemary grilled chicken breast on top


So are you getting a feel for what needs to be done? The food on this nutritional plan, is in every restaurant in Vancouver and Portland…we must be confident and help our server, help us. The program choices most likely will not be on the menu, but the food you need is in the kitchen. I rarely look at menus,I just order what I need.

So now let's talk portions! We are served meals on platters…what’s up with that?! Then,we’re afraid to leave food! Are you afraid that you’re not going to get your money’s worth? You have to ask yourself, "What did I pay for my weight loss program?"
I often ask for a ‘to go’ box when my food is served and put 1/2 my food away for my next meal.

You are worthy of ordering what you need. You are not high maintenance,you are healthy, in control and confident. You are happy and a role model!
If you had a life threatening illness and had to eat certain foods, would you have confidence then? Or better yet,if your child or grandchild had a life threatening illness and had to eat certain foods,would you have confidence to order what they needed then? Would you be assertive? Oh you bet you would.

Really, I’ve found it easier to eat out.
You order the food, it comes, you eat it.
At home; you buy it, bring it home and put it away, take it back out, prepare it, serve it, clean it up, put away leftovers!

Don’t use the opportunity to go out, to go off program. You can absolutely follow your nutritional plan while eating out!

Be confident, be in charge of what goes in your mouth,and remember, the food you need is in the kitchen!

Always encouraging you,
Letha

Keeper of The Keys

I love to study people. I'm curious about what makes us do the things we do. The longer I live, the more life I experience, the more firm I am in my belief that our actions are ALWAYS dictated by how we think. Our thought life has EVERYTHING to do with how we act. That continues to be a source of great inspiration to me because I believe that we have complete control over how we think. Our past experiences and our current circumstances have a lot to do with our thought life, that's for sure, but ultimately we have the ability to think rightly about the past and the present, and that right thinking changes everything.

I found this poem years ago and it really speaks to the truth about our thought life.

"Keeper of the Keys"

You are the Keeper of The Keys.
You are the Guard at The Gate.
Waiting in line to get through that door
Is LOVE and also HATE.
In line to enter is GENTLE PEACE.
And also VIOLENT WAR.
You must choose who may, and who
May not come through the door.
INTOLERANCE tries to sneak on through
On wings of FEAR, or PRIDE.
It hides behind DREAMS of BELONGING,
And tries to sneak inside.
Oh! Be alert! You're the Guard who decides
Who GOES and who may STAY.
You are The Keeper of The Keys to Your Mind.
Who will you let in today?

Guy Gilchrist


I encourage you to be the "Keeper of the Keys" to your mind. Choose to think rightly and guard your thoughts. Who will you let in today?

Always encouraging you,
Letha

Freedom!

It's July, and we're headed into the weekend that we as a country celebrate our Independence and our freedoms. I'm wondering today how free you really feel? Has food, or your struggles to control your eating, made you feel less than free? Do you sometimes feel like a prisoner, trapped in an unhealthy body?

Freedom takes work. It took work over 200 hundred years ago as our forefathers fought for what was ours. It takes work today as we fight for what is ours; a healthy, fit body. To be free is to not be under the control or power of someone or something. To be free is not to give in to the desires of our natural man...that in fact, is bondage to the flesh. I see men and women fighting to be free every week at The Healthy Weigh, they are re-defining freedom for themselves! It's exciting!

I'm convinced that the key to being free from overeating is to fight the battles on the inside as well as the outside. How much time are you spending on coping with life's difficulties, healing past pain, and working to understand your beliefs? Equal time or more should be given to the inside of us, as we focus on changing the outside. That's when freedom comes!

As you spend time with your families this weekend, celebrating our great country, I hope that you will take some time to ponder your freedom as a healthy adult. Choose freedom both on the inside and out this Independence Day.

Always encouraging you.
Letha